this morning, we were just shocked with the news about my Pak Tua, that he was gone. God already called him because God wanted him to accompany Him in this Christmas Eve. 

but God...

why You called him now? 

we're still in black empty space called sorrowful. my maktua, kak Roma, bang Rio, bang Roni, and bang Hendrik. 

for me, it's still hard to accept the gone of kak Delima. 

in the afternoon, after the coming of the corpse, I visited my maktua's house. cheering her and her family up. some words spoken out from maktua's mouth. I will translate it using bahasa, She used batak language. 

let me tell you bout the chronology of the accident. 

the accident was happened on Sunday, December 2nd 2012. my Paktua and kak Delima were on the way to Church in the early morning. They used motorcycle. on the way to take an opposite direction of ride, there was an highly speed car ran out and the accident couldn't be avoided. kak Delima was brought to the nearest hospital while pak Tua was brought to RSPP, South Jakarta. on the way to the nearest hospital, kak Delima couldn't stay longer and God wanted her to go back to her reality home named heaven. 

however paktua still could be handled, although he underwent comma for 3 weeks. but thank God, pak Tua was conscious even for a while. when paktua was conscious, He told the nurse "please call this number." he gave his mobile phone number and the nurse called. my maktua answered the phone, and my paktua asked "where is delima? where is delima?" no one told. no one was brave to tell. till now, no one told, until paktua found out by himself today. he is already with his lovely youngest daughter. after that day, the condition of paktua went down and down. after that day paktua was unconscious, until God called him. 

God, why is it so hard to accept? why is it too hard to believe?

God...please give maktua strength and also bang Rio, bang Hendrik, bang Roni, and kak Roma. 

Good bye pak Tua and kak Delima

I know You rest in peace and celebrate beautiful Christmas with God in the heaven. 

please tell to God to strengthen maktua...

I love you kak, pak... :'"

Merry X'mas